Aug 19 2014

I Knew It: The Earth Used to be Covered in Dragon

flight-of-dragoonsFinally science has caught up with reality and admitted that the world used to be inhabited by dragons. I’ve known this day was coming and I’m seriously surprised it didn’t come years ago. So here’s the deal:

According to a new study published recently in ZooKeysthe Earth used to be ruled by Azhdarchidan pterosaurs–massive, toothless winged creatures named from the Persian word for dragon.

According to the new study, the variety of locations where Azhdarchidan remains have been discovered hint that the creatures dominated the skies worldwide throughout the Cretaceous period. The dragons are believed to have been the last of the pterosaurs.

I’ll admit that I am pretty disappointed that these dragons don’t show any evidence of breathing fire but what can you expect. I’m pretty sure that fire hadn’t even been invented back in the cretaceous period.

Kinda makes me want to go watch How to Train Your Dragon for the 4 billionth time. I have a new appreciation for Toothless.

Aug 14 2014

Roadside Attraction: Salmon Cannon

fish cannonSo salmon, amiright? They’re crazy animals. Ever year they swim up a river and do their thing to make new little salmon. Sounds pretty simple right, a little swim up stream with the reward of sexy-time? I suppose it could be, up until they hit a dam or something that has been built up in their way since they came down.

So how does a simple salmon go about getting over a dam. Some places build special little rivers for the fish to swim around, others collect them manually and haul them up to the top. But now there’s another option. Why not shoot the fish over the dam in a pneumatic cannon? I vote for that.

The company behind the idea even has a rather silly name: Whooshh Innovations. But they are quite serious about their fish transport system. They recently worked with the Yakama Nation Fisheries to test the system over the Roza Dam.

I know next time I’m up there I will be making a detour to see fish getting fired over the dam. I hope that by then there’s a floating target on the uphill end so the fish have something to aim for on their way back down. Place your bets.

Hit the jump for a video.

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Aug 12 2014

Making Music from Bad Plumbing

hqdefaultYou know when you’re using the bathroom at a friend’s house and your worst fear is that something should go wrong. You manage to flush the toilet without flooding the place but then you go to wash your hands and when you turn on the faucet it does that banshee scream and starts coughing and spitting water everywhere. And that’s when you climb out the window and just go home.

Some people see this as an opportunity. Take this member from the Polish Altra Volta Quartet for example. When the faucet starts making noise he sees it as an opportunity to replace that cellist that keeps photo-bombing every selfie he tries for.

The results are pretty great. As you can tell from the person filming because they can’t keep from giggling and waving the camera everywhere while you’re trying to enjoy a nice musical performance.

Hit the jump for the video.

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Aug 11 2014

Man Sets House on Fire While Trying to Kill a Spider

Aerosol_fire_2998975bYou know how when you see a spider in your house you want nothing more than to just burn the place down and start over again in a new city. Especially when it’s one of those gigantic brown beggars that like to wait for you every morning in the bathtub and then they look all incensed when you crap down both legs instead of showering with him.

[Firefighters] were gobsmacked to discover that the fire started when a man sprayed a spider with an aerosol before setting it alight.

”Crews extinguished a small fire at the rear of the property, which was caused when the occupant tried to remove a spider after initially spraying it with an aerosol and then setting it alight.

”The flames then spread to the rest of the room.”

[Firefighters] urged members of the public to avoid using aerosols inappropriately – and added that there were ”more conventional ways” to get rid of spiders and insects.

You know what’s not clear here? Whether or not he did indeed kill the spider. I like to think that he did, but in all likelihood that spider probably made it out alive after setting fire to the poor idiots home.

Aug 06 2014

Like: Steampunk Disney Characters

d1Who else loves everything Steampunk? Raise your hand. For all of those raising your hand you are invited to my house on Monday for pizza. From this group who of you loves when people draw Disney characters in other costumes? You’re allowed to bring your favorite side to the pizza party because I know you’re not going to poison us all.

DeviantArtist MecaniqueFairy created a large set of images of Disney characters dressed Steampunk. There are characters here that I don’t even recognize or that I didn’t know were Disney. And maybe they’re not I don’t do a lot of research. Regardless it’s still a big pile of enjoyment.

More logistics for the pizza party now. If you have a Steampunk outfit to wear you are encouraged to do so and host gifts are mandatory.

Hit the jump for the rest.

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Jul 30 2014

Would Drive to Work: New Israeli Zombie Apocalypse Vehicle

isicombatguardWhen the Zombie Apocalypse hits what vehicle do you want to be driving? I know, some people suggest a bicycle is the best way to go but those people will be zombies by the time the outbreak makes it to my town anyhow so I have zero shits to give about what they say anyhow.

Looking like a rock crawler that collided with an up-armored Humvee with a little Lamborghini LM-002 thrown in for the cool factor, the Combat Guard looks like it’s ready to take on all threats, dead or undead. Naturally, it has four wheel drive and a big 300 horsepower General Motors Diesel engine, but it’s also fully armored against small arms fire, landmines, and IEDs and can carry up to eight soldiers in relative comfort. For further protection, it also has an electronic countermeasures system called Bright Arrow that can be used to deflect or destroy guided weapons fired at the Combat Guard before they reach their target.

Sometimes, the best defense is a quick getaway, and the Combat Guard won’t leave you pumping of the gas pedal screaming “faster.” With a 95 miles per hour top speed you can ditch pretty much any enemy, and you can even go off road at up to 75 miles per hour. The vehicle can ford rivers up to five feet deep, drive down a 70 degree slope, and climb a 30-inch vertical wall

Yeah, so they don’t specify that it is to be used against zombie hordes, it’s more for normal everyday military use. But I’m of the opinion that any vehicle that can take on the living and their weaponry will have a pretty good chance to defend against the undead and their teeth.

Hit the jump for a video.

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Jul 29 2014

Wracked By Guilt: Dog Apologizes for Stealing Baby’s Toy

dogThis is Charlie the dog and the offspring of his humans. Earlier in the day Charlie tested the theory about stealing from babies. Unfortunately it wasn’t as easy to live with as he had originally expected.

Feeling guilt burn straight through his soul Charlie then spends the rest fo the day trying to atone for his transgression against the baby. He does so by bringing him all the toys he can find. If there’s anything that can make a baby forgive you it’s burying them in toys right?

Guess it could have went worse. He could have gone the other way with it and taken the baby out and buried it in the yard instead. But being the sweet guy he is Charlie didn’t do that.

Hit the jump for the video.

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Jul 28 2014

Did not Want: 8-Bit Characters Made Real

aWhy must the internet spend all of it’s time ruining what is left of my childhood? Everywhere I look there is something new that destroys my blissful ignorance of the world around me.

8-bit characters of old are quaint and even cute when viewed through our modern eyes, but what if we could turn those 8-bit characters into something more realistic? Scott Johnson took a go of it and translated their 8-bit shapes into something more organic. You’d think they’d remain cute, but they actually walk the line between ugly and horrifying.

These poor characters look like they just got some falling down 70 flights of stairs. You can tell by the patters of broken bones and other injuries that is what happened.

Hit the jump for the rest of the set.

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Jul 25 2014

Harry Potter and the Mid-Life Crisis

ZwTDZuWRuHgrown_up_harry_potter_pro_at_quidditch (1)We all know that Harry Potter has had a rough life. So what makes you think that things are going to improve just because he killed off his mortal enemy and saved the Wizarding World? Where is the “Harry Potter and the Slam-Dunk Murder Trial” book?

Artists Jason Mustian and Cole Mitchell  created a group of images featuring scenes from Harry’s life after Hogwarts. It’s the kind of images that make you feel even closer to Harry because you can relate to him again.

I’ve got another one for them. How about “Harry Potter and the Fact that Hogwarts Provided no Actual Career Prep Training.” That’s one that a lot of us can really relate to. How many of you spent 4 years, or more, and a boatload of money on a university education only to not be able to find a job in your field or to have to learn a completely new set of skills to do the job?

Hit the jump for the rest of the set.

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Jul 24 2014

You’re Doing It Wrong: Guy Finds out he’s been Using his Deoderant Wrong Mid-Review

screen_shot_2014_07_14_at_4.30.59_pm_19s6uee-19s6uejWhen you’re planning to harp on some product to the Internet community you had better make sure you’re not using it wrong in the first place or you will be trolled into oblivion.

And that’s what’s going to happen to this poor guy. After purchasing a new brand of deodorant and being very unhappy with the switch he decides to film a video-review and post it online for the rest of the world do see his disappointment with the product.

Luckily for us he discovers half way through that he forgot to remove the protective cap from the stick before trying to apply it. How he didn’t realize before that he was just rubbing a piece of plastic on his pits every morning, I don’t know, but that’s where we are. Also luckily for us the person filming was brave enough to post the video even after being told not to.

Hit the jump for the video.

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