Mar 22 2015

The Stuff of Nightmares

Must go faster. MUST GO FASTER...

Must go faster. MUST GO FASTER…

Well, time travel to the past just became an even worse idea. Researchers found fossilized bones of this freaky-ass, upright-walking crocodile. Yes, you read that correctly.

Now called Carnufex carolinensis, the crocodile ancestor likely walked on its hind legs, preying on armored reptiles and early mammal relatives in its ecosystem, the researchers say.

Carnufex carolinensis, Latin for “Proof Mother Nature Hates Us”, is thankfully extinct now. However, during its reign of terror it was quite the predator. Its teeth were so sharp and knife-like that researchers today refer to it as a “butcher”. How’s that for a reputation? Even after millions of years people are still scared of you.

This thing looks like it should be staggering out of a green-glowing pond next to a nuclear power plant. *shudder* My nightmares had a baby with a radioactive demon and made this monster.

Click here for some comfort and for everything to be ok.

Mar 18 2015

There You Have It: Toilet Paper Rolls Over the Top

toilet paperIn a landmark discovery that anyone with any motivation could have found but no one did, Owen Williams went right to the source to find out exactly how toilet paper is supposed to roll. He looked up the patent for the toilet paper roll and you can see that toilet paper is meant to roll over the top. You may remember I discussed this previously here and no one cared here.

Let this be a lesson to all of you out there who think toilet paper should roll under. You are wrong and none of your cousins refer to you as, “The cool one” no matter what your mother told you.

Mar 10 2015

Want: Life-Sized Hulk Buster For Sale

hulkIf you’re still in need of that one piece to top off your Avenger’s collection or if you just hit the tax return jackpot and need a way to keep those awful relatives of yours off the lawn then do I have a deal for you.

 

Beast Kingdom Toys is selling a life-size version of Tony Stark’s Hulkbuster for $21,500.

Unfortunately, you can’t wear the suit or pose the statue, but it does appear to have some lighting effects that would scare the daylights out of someone walking into the room in the dark.

Kinda sucks that you can’t wear it to destroy the villages of your enemies amiright? If I could get this thing you know where you could find me for the next 6 weeks. In the back yard with a Dremel tool trying to hollow it out and only succeeding in destroying the whole thing entirely when I finally came to the realization that I don’t have the patience to Dremel.

Hit the jump for a couple more shots.

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Feb 19 2015

Apple is Teaching iPhones to Roll Over

iphoneIt’s been a while amiright? Yeah, sorry about that. Life you know.

Anyway…

Some time ago Apple applied for a patent to help their iPhones to “fall like a cat.” I know what you’re thinking, well no I don’t but here’s what I’m thinking, why would you want your phone to flail about and scratch the everliving hell out of you when you drop it?

I guess that’s not what they were going for, they are trying to geek screens from breaking. Which is a noble pursuit I suppose because the last iPhone I saw dropped exploded so spectacularly that I was surprised when no one was killed.

I suppose this new technology will replace the current format where iPhones are trained to fall like a piece of toast. So that they always land face down.

Dec 24 2014

Merry Christmas 2014

epic_santa_by_lac3rus-d31yyevMerry Christmas to all and to all a good fight.

Nov 11 2014

Remove One Letter From a Movie Title and Make All Things Better

5fyGSHcArtist austindlight spent the month of October drawing up movies as they would appear were they missing a single letter in the title. If UncannyFlats were missing a single letter it would probably end up as UncannyFats and I would have to start selling pool tables with warped surfaces.

I’m going to post the whole month’s worth after the jump but I’m not going to tell you what the new movie title is. That’s your job. Tell me in the comments the answer’s to all 31 and you’ll win a prize. See below for prize details.

Hit the jump for the images.

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Nov 05 2014

Your Daily Dose of Ships Crashing

shipsSome days are just the worst. Maybe you didn’t get enough sleep. Maybe you forgot to get gas the night before so now you have to stop on the way to work. Maybe you turned on the wrong burner and cooked an oven mitt instead of your eggs. One way or another you just know you’re not going to have a good day.

I wonder how the day started out for the two captains of these giant-freaking-ships that crashed into each other in the Suez Canal a while back? I’m gonna guess it was a late night of walking dead mixed with a large dose of what-is-this-crazy-language-everyone-is-speaking.

Luckily for us someone on shore took out their camera and caught the result:

The German-flagged MV Colombo Express and the Singaporean-flagged MV Maersk Tanjong collided at the mouth of the canal, knocking three containers from the Colombo Express into the sea, the sources said.

Hit the jump for the video.

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Oct 31 2014

Docile Deer with a Doughnut

DeerIn one of those stories that can only happen to someone else YouTuber Ben Lzicar was fishing in the Snake River in Idaho when a deer approached the water for a drink. Fortunately for us this wasn’t your average deer. This one was quite docile and was wearing a powdered doughnut on it’s antler.

Lzicar was able to approach the deer and remove the doughnut from the antler and offer it to the deer. Apparently he didn’t want it though. Which sucks because the world needs more deer with powdered sugar mustaches.

Anyway, the video is well worth a watch. Even if some people still can’t remember to film in landscape mode.

Hit the jump for the video.

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Oct 17 2014

Brilliant: Dad Creates Wonder Woman’s Invisible Jet Lego Set

invisible-jet-editHave you ever wondered how any one thing could be the most simple thing in the world and the most difficult at the same time? I did until I started offering technical support over the phone. One brilliant dad had an idea that did both.

Animator John Wray is setting the bar high when it comes to being a dad and a Lego fan with the photos he recently shared on Reddit.

Wray detailed the hard work and dedication that went into building the new Ultimate Collector’s Series Invisible Jet and took us all along for the ride.

Ha, how genius is that? An invisible Lego set would be so easy because who’s gonna know when you screw up. But then when you get to building and obsessing and you realize that you’ve lost one invisible piece and you can’t make the wings even and there is just no consoling you for the rest of the evening. Or maybe that’s just me.

Hit the jump for the story in photos.

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Oct 03 2014

Oh Please Yes: Make Pluto A Planet Again

PlutoRemember when Pluto used to be a planet. Did you realize that this was 8 years ago? In 2006 the International Space Union decided that Pluto wasn’t a planet anymore. That means there are kids in Second grade who have never known the joy of nine planets.

I always kind of figured that once you reached planet-hood you were just set for life. When that turned out to not be the case I decided to change my life goal and start eating more healthy. Totally hasn’t helped.

Anyway…

The Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics recently decided to revisit the IAU’s ruling by hosting a discussion on the definition of a planet.Three experts chimed in on the controversy: Dr. Owen Gingerich, chair the IAU planet definition committee; Dr. Gareth Williams, associate director of the Minor Planet Center; and Dr. Dimitar Sasselov, director of the Harvard Origins of Life Initiative.

They ended up voting 2-1 to make Pluto a planet again. Does that really change anything? No. But it’s a step in the right direction. Someday I’m hoping to see Pluto added back to the list so that the science textbooks I couldn’t sell back can be correct again. Who’s with me?

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