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Jun 10 2013

Bear Necessities

Bear

Bear doing his MoTown Backup Singer impression.

This is the coolest bear that I have ever seen. No joke. It’s been trained to do tricks better than your dog. “I don’t have a dog, it got eaten by a bear.” Well, this is awkward.

Hopefully this bear doesn’t reproduce though, because it will make a generation of mutated beasts that can do human things better than some humans. Then going hiking or camping would be a game of terrifying survival, probably similar to the Hunger Games.

How hard is it to actually start training a bear? I think that would be the hardest milestone to get over. Do you just drag it out of the wild and chain it up and hope for the best? Maybe just hope you stumble across a baby without a mom. Seems risky to me. But so does eating at that little run down burrito shop in town, but I still do it.

My favorite trick is where the bear eats the owner. The dog was all like “What..?” and the bear was just picking his teeth with a rib. The bear even burps like a human too. It’s weird. Someone get him a wet nap. 

Movie after the jump. Spoiler, skip to 2:44 for the funniest thing you have ever seen in your life. Make sure you are playing a nice upbeat song, preferably with a banjo. The whole movie is well worth the time you otherwise would be spending looking at cats.

 

What the hell country made that plastic chair? When I sit in them, they break like the French lines in World War II, but when a 900 pound bear gets on one, the thing acts like it is made out of titanium. Life isn’t fair my friends.

SPOILER 2. This is in Russia, just found out. No further explanation needed.

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  1. State of the Web June 17, 2013 » Uncanny Flats

    […] Bear Necessities This is the coolest bear that I have ever seen. No joke. It’s been trained to do tricks better than your dog. “I don’t have a dog, it got eaten by a bear.” Well, this is awkward. Hopefully this bear doesn’t reproduce though, because it will make a generation of mutated beasts that can do … […]

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