Category: Idiots

Aug 11 2014

Man Sets House on Fire While Trying to Kill a Spider

You know how when you see a spider in your house you want nothing more than to just burn the place down and start over again in a new city. Especially when it’s one of those gigantic brown beggars that like to wait for you every morning in the bathtub and then they look all …

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May 09 2014

Well Handled: Jordanian TV Guests Destroy the Set in and On-Air Fight

Every person on the planet knows that violence is a viable and excellent solution to 100 percent of the problems they face in life. Unfortunately for us and our algae-filled gene pool not enough people turn to violence to solve their problems. So we grow weaker and weaker every generation. Don’t think that’s true, ask …

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May 09 2014

Application Denied: Lawer’s Bid to Marry his Porn-Filled Laptop Turned Down

At what point is a person no longer fit to represent themselves in court? Probably right after they deny counsel. How about this one, when is a person no longer fit to represent others in court? Probably long before you find out that they intend to marry their porn-filled laptop. Chris Sevier, who has been …

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May 06 2014

Trying not to Cry: Rope Swing Atomic Wedgie

A recently graduated student, whose parents hated him enough to name him Tre Sev, decided to celebrate his graduation with a joyful swing on a rope. Problem was he’s one of those guys who keeps his keys on a lanyard and wears basketball shorts out in public. The results of those two things were an …

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Apr 29 2014

Who Thought this Up? Burst Fire Toothbrush

Let me run and idea past you. Hear me out and tell me what you think. I want to tape my toothbrush to the slide on my handgun and hold the trigger down and let the gun brush my teeth for me. It’s not that my electric toothbrush doesn’t move fast enough for me. It …

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Apr 24 2014

That’s what you get: Old Guy gets hit by Train Only Loses a Shoe

When you’re hobbling down the road of life and you come to a railroad crossing with the guard arms down how many ducks are in the winter? HA, that totally turned into a religious question. A 77-year-old guy in Rájec-Jestřebí, Czech Republic decided that “while the guard arms are down” is an okay time to …

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Apr 21 2014

Your Parents Must be Proud: Kurt Coleman, the World’s Vainest Boy

When most sane people are described as narcissistic they usually take offense. Some people though, they thank the haters and then go home and look up narcissism, then they direct message the hatter on twitter to thank them for the comparison to an ancient Greek beauty. Kurt Coleman is one of these people. And that’s …

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Apr 18 2014

I Knew it: Over 120 Science Papers Pulled for Being Nonsense

If you’ve ever tried to read a science journal article and suspected that it was 100% computer-generated, unintelligible, horse crap, there’s a good chance that it is. It’s not that you’re just dumb and you don’t understand the subject matter. That could never be the case. The paper must just be nonsense. Earlier this week, …

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Apr 11 2014

That’s What You Get: Impatient Driver Gets Stuck in Wet Concrete

When you’re stuck in traffic and you notice a clear road off to the side that obviously gets you around the goat-roper slowing things up ahead of you you’d take it right? Well, first you’d be suspicious and check to see why the obviously better path is empty. When you see that it is newly …

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Apr 08 2014

Weren’t They Always: New Scratch-n-Sniff Jeans

How long is it okay to wear a pair of jeans without washing them? I think a week is about right. It takes two days for them to loosen up after a washing so they are actually wearable and then can usually last about 5 more days until they are too dirty to pass off …

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