Category Archive: I’m so broke.

Jan 03 2014

Want: Bugatti x Roland Iten Belt Buckle

Here’s a problem I’ll bet you’ve never considered. When you’re driving in excess of 250 miles per hour how do you hold your pants up. Most of us don’t worry about things like that because we figure that the only time our car is going to go that fast is while plummeting off a cliff …

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Dec 26 2013

Best Use for Broccoli: Food Art

What do you do with food that is inedible? Things like broccoli and cucumbers. You use them for art obviously. While some people think you should be eating these trash items we know better. If God would have wanted us to eat them he wouldn’t have made them taste like poison. Now that we’ve grown …

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Dec 26 2013

Becoming a Super Saiyan: Weighted Workout Shirt

Quoted from the site, “Helps increase resistance to workouts.” If there is anything that I do not need it’s a shirt that would increase my resistance to working out. I think they were probably going for something more along the lines of, “Helps increase resistance in workouts.” What we have here is the Titan weighted …

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Dec 05 2013

Making Money: Into Other Stuff

Have you ever met someone who has more money than they know what to do with? Don’t you with that was the biggest problem you had in your life? I know I do. Well, collage artist Mark Wagner has figured out something to do with those extra dollars. He destroys them, he cuts them into …

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Nov 15 2013

Why Are You So Old: The Key to Living to 100

This is Dorothy Howe of Saltdean, East Sussex, England just turned 100. I’m going to bet that’s not a birthday card that Hallmark sells out of a lot. When asked her secret to living to such a ripe old age she answered, ‘I put my health down to whisky [sic] and cigarettes.” For the past …

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Nov 14 2013

A Little Extra on the Side: Superhero Part-Time Jobs

Times are tough. I’m sure you’re all well aware of that. If you haven’t figured it out or it doesn’t affect you please feel free to mail me some money. I promise to put it toward the “Stop Being So Broke” fund. Minimum donation of $5 $10. Even Superheroes are feeling the crunch. Those space …

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Oct 29 2013

A Novel Approach to Economics: Living Wallet

I hope you aren’t one of those people who blame intimate objects for the failings of humanity. Things like spoons make people fat, guns kill people, tennis rackets cause diabetes, and wallets make you broke. If you truly are one of those people stop right now and kill yourself. We’ll wait. For the rest of …

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Sep 26 2013

I’ll be There: Town Hall Bondage Workshop

If your city held a town hall on bondage would you attend? If you can answer yes then you must live in a larger and less judgmentally community than I do. Or you are way smoother than me and you just don’t care. Or you’re really in to your bondage and no amount of awkwardness …

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Aug 27 2013

For Sale: Space Shuttle Launch Pad

Regardless of what you heard on the radio yesterday, NASA is not selling off the crawlers they use to transport the space shuttle to the launch pad. It’s the launch pads themselves for which NASA is looking for buyers. They’ve been using the pad since 1967 so it’s seen Apollo and Space Shuttle Missions. NASA …

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Aug 14 2013

Want: HypnoSquare, to Calm your Desk

I don’t know why, but after reading about the HypnoSquare I got a strong urge to write about it. I also feel the need to send Sharper Image $130 and to watch everything James Woods has ever appeared in. It’s kind of weird. HypnoSquare is the electronic light display that mesmerizes onlookers with a never-ending …

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