Category Archive: Jobs

Mar 12 2014

I have No Idea what I’m Doing: Beekeeping Donkey

This is Boneco. Boneco is a donkey who lives in Brazil. While that may not be the ideal situation for a donkey to be born into the wold, Boneco is making the best of it by becoming the worlds premier donkey-beekeeper. Boneco and his owner/custom-beekeeping-suit-maker Manuel Juraci live in a small arid town where everyone …

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Mar 03 2014

Have All the Money: Richest Disney Villains

As we’ve all heard repeated a million times by after-school specials, “crime doesn’t pay.” Only that’s not true, and you know it if you think about it. Remember that guy in high school who you always suspected was up to something nefarious? Yeah he made a butt-tonne of money. But he’s an idiot so he …

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Feb 26 2014

Because We Hate Mornings: McDonald’s Considering Extending Breakfast

McDonald’s is starting to realize that the morning time sucks and people don’t want to have to experience it. Or maybe it’s just that weekend hangovers aren’t allowing people to leave the house until noon. Either way they are considering extending their breakfast hours. At least for the weekends. It seems that the company’s target …

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Feb 18 2014

About What I’d Expect: Crystal Head Vodka Face

Forensic artist and Crystal Head Vodka fan Nigel used his skills to imagine what the spirit’s trademark skull bottle would look like if it had flesh and skin. As it turns out it’s a happy hippie, or possibly an English teacher. He’s happy because, Vodka and he’s a hippie out of pure artistic vision. I’m …

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Feb 12 2014

The Saddest Cup of Noodles

Nothing to see here, just a Cup of Noodles shoveling snow with what looks like a criminally inefficient shovel-thing. And yes I’m told that it’s actually called “Cup Noodles” but that just seems way wrong to me and after a weekend of eating Cups of Noodles almost exclusively I’m convinced leaving out the “of” sounds …

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Feb 03 2014

LEGO Gets Called Out by 7-year-old Girl

7-year-old Charlotte Benjamin has had it with LEGO and their lack of cool, adventuring female minifigs. So she decided to point her rage at the company in what became an open letter. I’m sure her parents had a lot to do with that. I’m guessing the parents are either female-empowerment crusaders or they just thought …

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Nov 14 2013

A Little Extra on the Side: Superhero Part-Time Jobs

Times are tough. I’m sure you’re all well aware of that. If you haven’t figured it out or it doesn’t affect you please feel free to mail me some money. I promise to put it toward the “Stop Being So Broke” fund. Minimum donation of $5 $10. Even Superheroes are feeling the crunch. Those space …

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Nov 12 2013

I’m in Films: Star Wars Episode VII Casting Call

If you’re an aspiring actor, you’re never going to make it big. Prove me wrong. And when you do send me a check to thank me for motivating you. Here’s your chance to make it big. The casting director for Star Wars Episode VII, Maryellen Aviano, will be in Chicago this week to look for …

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Oct 24 2013

Got Milk: Pin Ups Wearing Nothing but Moo Juice

When your day job consists of pouring milk on naked ladies and taking high-speed photographs of the action you don’t do it for the money, you do it for the joy and light an a little bloggers face when he sees your photos. Actually I’m not sure how much photographer Jaroslav Wieczorkiewicz (link NSFW) gets …

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Oct 22 2013

Takes a Steady Hand: Hand Painted Lettering

If you met Glen Weisgerber and had 10 tries to guess what he does for a living I’ll bet you never get the right answer. I’ll tell you the closest I’d ever come would be “tattoo artist.” Nope. He’s a pinstriper. I don’t think this means he paints lines on suit jackets, but that may …

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