Category: Law

Jun 25 2014

Hogging All the Crazy: Man Attacks Car with Axe in a Fit of Russian Road Rage

Before we begin let me warn you that all the images and video contained in this article will likely send you into your own fit of rage because it’s all shot in portrait mode. Turn your phone to landscape mode people! An axe-wielding Russian man has launched a violent attack on a car with children …

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Jun 12 2014

Questioning Their Motives: Thief Steals $18,000 Worth of Axe Shower Gel

Apparently the business of being a criminal in Indiana is becoming very highly specialized. We know that because recently a thief made off with a literal truckload of Axe shower gel. From this we can deduce that his resell market is a middle school. Junior High my dear Watson. Axe is taking the whole thing …

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May 16 2014

hlp Im bn murdered: You can now Text 911

Good news for those people who are deaf or being held hostage by a masked man with Volcan-like hearing. You can now text 911 for help. Unfortunately this only applies to some states and some counties within those states right now. The ones with the extra man power and the call center personnel who are …

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May 09 2014

Application Denied: Lawer’s Bid to Marry his Porn-Filled Laptop Turned Down

At what point is a person no longer fit to represent themselves in court? Probably right after they deny counsel. How about this one, when is a person no longer fit to represent others in court? Probably long before you find out that they intend to marry their porn-filled laptop. Chris Sevier, who has been …

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May 05 2014

This is What We’ve Come to: Vancouver Bans Doorknobs

Yeah, I know my first thought was that this was some kind of fart-referencing joke too but it turns out the story is true. Vancouver, that one city in Canada that had an olympics a while ago, is banning doorknobs on new buildings. No this isn’t a turn to the dark side, and they’re being …

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May 01 2014

Oh the Frustration: Definition of a Photocopier

Do you know what a photocopier is? If you are reading this, on the internet, or on paper for that matter, I hope to the powers above that you know what a photocopier is. Because if you don’t you should ask someone immediately so you don’t make yourself look like a fool in the Ohio …

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Apr 25 2014

Gross: Tennessee Teen Arrested with Loaded Gun Hidden in her Lady Parts

Sorry no pictures of the actual event. Now get your mind out of the gutter and listen to this. A teen from Tennessee was taken into custody for driving without a license. Upon closer inspection officers found she was hiding considerably more that they had anticipated. Dallas Archer, 19, was arrested at around 3:15 p.m. …

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Apr 24 2014

I’d Run Too: Convicted Robber Escapes from Prison to Get Away from Rap Music

What’s the first thing you do when you’re put into a minimum security prison? I’m guessing the answer is “break out.” What other purpose would a minimum security prison serve? Well, convicted robber Robert Stevens took his chance to escape recently. After hearing his reasoning, I get it. Jamie Porter, defending, said: “He was in …

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Apr 22 2014

So, how’d he get out of it? Dog Called to Jury Duty

This is IV, pronounced Ivy, and she’ll be number 8 in the jury of your peers. Rough break on how you’re being brought up on charges of animal cruelty and cat favoritism. Hey, you brought this on yourself. A German Shepherd has been called for jury duty in the US, leaving its owners rather bemused. …

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Mar 27 2014

Well that Figures: California Anti-Game-Violence Legislator Arrested for Corruption

California State Senator Leland Yee (D), he’s one of the characters above not sure which, has been one of the major players in the push to limit the access minors have to violent video games. As much as I think such legislation needs to exist, not at all, it’s good to see a wrench thrown …

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