Doctors can Now Save Gunshot and Stabbing Victims by Placing them in Suspended Animation

burnsDoctors at UPMC Presbyterian Hospital in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania are ready to try to save the lives of 10 gunshot and stabbing victims by placing them in suspended animation. Why they chose 10 victims is unclear. Sounds to me like they plan to go on a 10-person medical rampage but that seems unlikely. Maybe it’s just that they only have enough animation suspension equipment to do 10 people.

The process is seems horrifying and simple, when a patient comes in on the verge of death, bleeding from 19 stab wounds, the surgeons will go to work to stop them from irrevocably dying instead of trying to save them outright. Let me explain.

All of the patient’s blood will be drained and replaced with cold saline solution. This drops the patient’s body temperature to about 50 degrees and renders then clinically dead. Seems kind of counter intuitive I know, but bear with me. In this state the patient can “live” for an hour or two, giving the surgeons enough time to patch them up pump some blood back in and resuscitate them.

I wonder if the saved patients can get a card afterwards stating that they are legally zombies. I’d go for that.