May 15 2013

Not good: Zimbabwe zombie

zimbabwe--cemetery_2562625bEverything seemed so peaceful…

Yesterday afternoon, right around quitting time for us mortals, The Telegraph reported on a Zimbabwean funeral. Normal boring stuff right? The kind of stuff your parent’s subscribe to the paper for, why are parents obsessed with the obituaries? Come to find out this wasn’t a normal funeral:

 

Family and friends were filing past a coffin with the remains of Brighton Dama Zanthe, 34, when one of them noticed the dead man’s legs twitching.

Mr Zanthe told The Chronicle newspaper, that he has no recollection of how he “died” nor how he was “resurrected,”

I wonder if that’s a common zombie problem, not remembering how you died and were resurrected (see reanimated.) The world may never know. Thing is, I doubt I’ll be asking the zombies that come banging on my door looking for brains in the future. “Shoot, Shovel, and Shut Up” that’s the motto we go by around here.

The real shocker is apparently this is a common problem in Zimbabwe. It’s a wonder the alert level isn’t higher for Africa. I’ll have to have a talk with the guys at ZWD and make sure they are tracking this one. I always figured the end of humanity would start in Africa, the beginning supposedly started there so the end might as well too.

Perhaps the real problem this points to is Zim-doctors not being thorough in their examinations when they call time of death. When I die I want to be sure as crap I’m dead so I don’t wake up at a wake, see what I did there. It would be so awkward I’d probably just let them bury me instead of speaking up.

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