Oct 08 2013

Not in My House: Shopkeeper Chases Robber with Machete

MacheteYes, I know the time stamp on the video says that this event hasn’t happened yet. But if you’re around at 7:08 in the morning on January 8th, 2017 watch out for this to see if we really did just glimpse the future. Especially keep that in mind if you happen to be working at this shop in New York. Someone is coming to rob you.

Luckily you thought ahead and started storing a giant freaking machete below the counter just for situations like this. Maybe a short video gave you the idea and you knew that someday it would free you from the boredom that is your life as an early morning convenience store clerk.

Here’s how it’s going to go down. You’ll be standing around. Listening to music on your now 20-year-old ipod and a robber dressed in a balaclava and wielding a gun will burst through the front door and demand you empty the register. Since you knew this would happen and you didn’t want to tempt fate by changing the future, you baited the robber by leaving the money drawer open. Luckily for you it worked and you got to chase the robber away and through the parking lot with your machete. Good work, in the future.

Hit the jump for the video.

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1 ping

    • ralf on October 8, 2013 at 3:49 PM
    • Reply

    The date says 2011/08/17. That is not the future uncanny blog writing genius, that would be the past.

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  1. […] security camera footage from a convenience store in Brentwood, New York featuring a masked robber waving a gun in the attendant’s face and demanding all the money. Remember the first thing they teach you in Gunfights 101? “Never […]

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