My Childhood In One Video


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Because they are awesome and make the world a better place, the SlowMoGuys have released a video of them doing something that takes me back to about 3 hours ago when I also blew the crap out of a lego house. The only difference is that they have a nifty high speed camera, and all I had was myself, my hair, and then no hair.

I think every child should be given some legos for two reasons. First, hit the jump for the video. This is reason enough. Second, every person should experience the pain of stepping on a lego in the middle of the night. This will help all of us keep things in perspective. We can then think “Hey, at least I didn’t step on a lego today.” That’s the silver lining of life people. And so is this. Just think, at least you aren’t a dog going through PTSD:

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Papua New Guinea unsure if firing squad will cut it for sorcerers.

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Slightly stylized, but what I wouldn’t give…

Lets review our geography, Papua New Guinea lives right above Australia sharing an island with part of Indonesia. For reference Indonesia is the group of islands where all the temples you attribute to Cambodia are, and Australia is south of that where kangaroos rule the land and you have to where magnetic shoes to keep from falling off the earth.

Recently PNG, because that place is hard to spell, has been going over its capital punishment laws and adding murderers to the list of capital offenders because pirates and traitors just wasn’t good enough for them. The problem they are apparently running in to is the bad habit PNGers have of cold, scary revenge.

In February, a mob stripped, tortured and bound a woman accused of witchcraft, then burned her alive in front of hundreds of horrified witnesses in the city of Mount Hagan. O’Neill, police and foreign diplomats condemned the killing.

In July, police arrested 29 people accused of being part of a cannibal cult in Papua New Guinea’s jungle interior and charged them with the murders of seven suspected witch doctors.

Some Papua New Guinea analysts said part of the reason that the country has not executed prisoners is the tribal culture of payback. An executioner, or even lawmakers who enabled the execution, could be subjected to violent retribution from members of the executed prisoner’s clan.

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Professional Time Waster

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Cat Bounce

Because I like lists, and stupid little web-games, and procrastinating here’s a list of 17 web toys to play with when you’re just done for the day. Me? I have been working 8 AM to 4 PM so I’m usually done for the day, and useless to the rest of my team, at about 8:15 every day. After that time I entertain myself with stuff like this and writing articles for Uncanny Flats. Think about it, you know your time too. It may vary a bit but every day, before your shift is over, you hit a point where you know you will accomplish nothing else for the rest of the day. I call it plateauing.

Some of these are pretty entertaining, just turn down your volume and check over your shoulder every few minutes for one of your 5000 bosses.

Hit the jump for some of my favorites.

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Not a single superhero: 500 most powerful people on earth.

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Image mostly unrelated.

Foreign Policy magazine just released their list of the 500 most powerful people on the planet. I’m not gonna ruin it by telling you that you aren’t on it. LIES! You aren’t on it. hahahahaha.
Neither am I.

I’m not entirely clear on their ranking criteria because I haven’t heard of about 490 of these people. And the US president is a good 3/4 of the way down the list. I was always pretty convinced that the president of the United States, POTUS if you will, was the most powerful person on earth. Guess I was wrong, he’s the 328th most powerful person. Maybe that’s just because of who it is this go around? Thoughts?

Hit the jump, hit it now.

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Not too small for IMAX.

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In crap-you-didn’t-know-was-possible news. The folks at IBM Research have come up with a stop-motion movie using single atoms to make up the characters. Appropriately enough the called it, “A Boy and his Atom.”

Scientists at IBM Research have just earned a Guinness world record for the smallest movie ever: They created a stop-motion film by moving atoms, one at a time, across a copper surface. The result is the sweet story of a boy named Atom, who befriends a single atom and then goes dancing, plays catch and jumps on a trampoline.

Apparently they used something called a scanning tunneling microscope and magic to move atoms around on a copper plate. The microscope itself doesn’t use optics to see the atoms, that would melt your brain, instead it uses a needle with a one atom thick tip to feel for atoms on a plate. The result is the bucky-balls in a puddle look you see in the image.

Hit the Jump for the full 242 frames of joy.

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Another job for me: Polar Bear Spotter

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In what seems to be a continuing theme with my articles, a wild job appears. Polar bear spotter.

The Norwegian government is looking for a polar bear spotter on Svalbard, whose 2,400 human residents are outnumbered by its 3,000 polar bears, according to the Associated Press. The job starts on July 8 and involves spotting polar bears to warn researchers doing work in the area.

To qualify, you must have previous experience outdoors, good bear-spotting chops and experience with firearms. But Helge Solli from the governor’s office told the AP that the the successful candidate likely won’t have to use a gun “just as long as they have a loud voice” to scare off any polar bears.

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No Sleep For Me Ever Again

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This is it folks, if you want to continue living your life as you know it, then please don’t read this. If you want to read about the creepiest and most disturbing thing you’ll ever learn, then please continue. A tiny skeleton was found in the Atacama Desert in Chile. I’ve had to read this report a few times to see if it was a late April Fools joke because I’m pretty sure that thing is just a doll. Seriously, look at it. However, all of their testing shows that was a living and breathing human being about six to eight years old when it died. Looks like my new fear isn’t that spiders will mutate to have wings. I’m gonna have to start checking my shower for tiny, evil aliens instead of spiders now.

Hit the jump to get even more freaked out.

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A good excuse for a day off.

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Remember the last time you called into work sick to tell them you weren’t coming in? Remember the looks you got the next day when you came in wearing a shirt from the new ski resort and sunburned on the bottom of you nose? It’s not because your coworkers are afraid of catching the made up disease you called in with, it’s because your dumb.

Here’s a handy diagram showing the different flavors of the flu that are floating around out there. Next time you call in don’t tell them you have the plague Come up with something believable. But please, make sure it lands in that blue circle. Your boss reads Uncanny Flats too and he knows you don’t have H17.

Great places I can’t afford.

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In news that makes me want to cry, the Diners Club released their list of the top 50 restaurants in the World today. Not one of which will I ever go to even when I am a billionaire and rule my own continent. I’m doing it out of spite for not putting my favorite place on the list.

In better news, the United States did manage one eatery in the top 10. U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A. Take that your frenchy, froggy, froggy, frenchy, Frenchmen you didn’t score a single top 10.

Here’s the top 10:

1 – El Celler de Can Roca, Girona, Spain
2 – Noma, Copenhagen, Denmark
3 – Osteria Francescana, Modena, Italy
4 – Mugaritz, San Sebastian, Spain
5 – Eleven Madison Park, New York, U.S.
6 – D.O.M., Sao Paulo, Brazil
7 – Dinner by Heston Blumenthal, London,
8 – Arzak, San Sebastian, Spain
9 – Steirereck, Vienna, Austria
10 – Vendome, Bergisch Gladbach, Germany

Hit the jump for a video, watch with your meager lunch in your hand.

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Mother Nature Looks Pissed!

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Nature finally is beginning to show us just how freaky it can get and in what ways it plans to kill us. In this blurry screenshot of the video, you can barely make out the terrifying ICE NEEDLES that nature is procuring. My nose is pretty good at making ice needles during the winter, but I can only make two of them. They also have a very strange flavor to them, kind of nutty, with a nice woodland aftertaste.

Hit the jump for the sciency explanation and the video.

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