Did not Want: 8-Bit Characters Made Real

aWhy must the internet spend all of it’s time ruining what is left of my childhood? Everywhere I look there is something new that destroys my blissful ignorance of the world around me.

8-bit characters of old are quaint and even cute when viewed through our modern eyes, but what if we could turn those 8-bit characters into something more realistic? Scott Johnson took a go of it and translated their 8-bit shapes into something more organic. You’d think they’d remain cute, but they actually walk the line between ugly and horrifying.

These poor characters look like they just got some falling down 70 flights of stairs. You can tell by the patters of broken bones and other injuries that is what happened.

Hit the jump for the rest of the set.

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Harry Potter and the Mid-Life Crisis

ZwTDZuWRuHgrown_up_harry_potter_pro_at_quidditch (1)We all know that Harry Potter has had a rough life. So what makes you think that things are going to improve just because he killed off his mortal enemy and saved the Wizarding World? Where is the “Harry Potter and the Slam-Dunk Murder Trial” book?

Artists Jason Mustian and Cole Mitchell  created a group of images featuring scenes from Harry’s life after Hogwarts. It’s the kind of images that make you feel even closer to Harry because you can relate to him again.

I’ve got another one for them. How about “Harry Potter and the Fact that Hogwarts Provided no Actual Career Prep Training.” That’s one that a lot of us can really relate to. How many of you spent 4 years, or more, and a boatload of money on a university education only to not be able to find a job in your field or to have to learn a completely new set of skills to do the job?

Hit the jump for the rest of the set.

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You’re Doing It Wrong: Guy Finds out he’s been Using his Deoderant Wrong Mid-Review

screen_shot_2014_07_14_at_4.30.59_pm_19s6uee-19s6uejWhen you’re planning to harp on some product to the Internet community you had better make sure you’re not using it wrong in the first place or you will be trolled into oblivion.

And that’s what’s going to happen to this poor guy. After purchasing a new brand of deodorant and being very unhappy with the switch he decides to film a video-review and post it online for the rest of the world do see his disappointment with the product.

Luckily for us he discovers half way through that he forgot to remove the protective cap from the stick before trying to apply it. How he didn’t realize before that he was just rubbing a piece of plastic on his pits every morning, I don’t know, but that’s where we are. Also luckily for us the person filming was brave enough to post the video even after being told not to.

Hit the jump for the video.

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Questionable Defensibility: Beautiful Geometric Sand Castles

calvin-4New York-based sandcastle artist Calvin Seibert created a group of geometric/abstract sandcastles on a recent 10-day trip to Hawaii. First let me say, what a life. Traveling to Hawaii, building sandcastles, living in New York. What more could you ask for, aside from not to live in New York. I’m sure a lot of people like it there, probably a little more that half during the summer.

What impresses me most about these castles as opposed to others I’ve seen is the large flat surfaces. That’s got to be difficult to do with sand. Most sand castles I’ve seen hide flaws by adding some texture to the walls but Seibert goes for more of a clean modern look and I appreciate that.

I built a pretty nice sand castle once. It had walls and a gate and crenelations and everything. All the castle-y requirements. Unfortunately I have siblings so the castle didn’t last long. They brought in their siege engines and threw disease ridden corpses over my walls. And then they stepped on the east wing and we had to go home.

Hit the jump for some of my favorites.

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Beautiful: Disney Princess Oil Paintings

RapunzelArtist Heather Theurer created possibly the most artistic group of Disney Princess art to date. She uses real paint and real brushes on a real cardboard to make actual real-life paintings. Three cheers for the only artists I’ve seen so far that got out from in front of the computer to make their Disney art.

It’s good to see that there are still people out there who take the Bob Ross approach and make beautiful works of art with what I’m assuming is very little effort on their part. But then when any of us mortals try to recreate the painting we fail miserably and end up with a pile of smouldering garbage. No I’m not sure how it caught fire in the first place I have a hunch it has something to do with the very flammable paint I was using at the time.

Hit the jump for the rest of the set.

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That’s Gross: Ring Covered in Human Skin Leather

Forget_Me_Knot_2_1024x1024Late Warning: This one is gross. Like human skin on a piece of jewelry gross.

Artist and crazy person Sruli Recht, who you may remember that we featured before, created this ring a while back that he covered in his own skin. If you’re wondering, no, that’s not a surgery that your average health insurance is going to cover. But he is from Europe so who knows.

He’s calls the ring the Forget Me Knot and he’s trying to sell it for 350,000 euros, which comes to $473,655. Not something that I can see myself purchasing any time ever.

In a documented one-time surgery-performance, a plastic surgeon removed a 110mm x 10mm strip of skin from the abdomen of Sruli Recht. The subcutaneous tissue and epidermis was then scraped from the dermis, which is stripped of fat by hand and blade, before being salted, and tanned with an Alum solution. The resulting leather from the dermis was prepared for use in the ring, Forget Me Knot.
Hit the jump for another angle and a video of the surgery.

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Take that Volvo: Hyundai Comes Out with Their Own Stunt Commercial

hyundaiApparently as a response to Volvo’s commercial featuring Jean-Claude Van Damme straddling a pair of semi trucks Hyundai has come out with their own advertisement featuring brave stunt-people doing things that you shouldn’t try at home.

Here they’re demonstrating the new car’s ability to drive by itself. So they start out with drivers who then jump out of the cars. The cars don’t seem to mind and continue on driving down the road. Until the truck carrying all of the stuntmen stops in front of them and they show off their ability to also stop.

I would love a self driving car, nothing would be nicer than being able to sleep all the way to work. That may even make road trips bearable if you didn’t have to be conscious for them. One thing that this commercial did point out that I wondered about, if the car is smart enough to drive without the driver why is it not programmed to stop driving when the driver falls out? That seems like it could end up being an annoying feature.

Hit the jump for the video.

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Animal World Problems: Lion Cub gets Head Stuck in Dead Buffalo’s Butt

lionSome days are just not your day. You wake up and think everything is copacetic and then you step in some mystery puddle on your way to the kitchen. Then you can never get the shower to just the right temperature so you shower in a lava-hot scalding shower because you’re not about to have it to cold. Then you spend the time to make yourself a nice drink to take with you on your drive to work and leave it sitting on the table. And then it rains so you can’t even go out at lunch time and get away from your smelly office for a while.

Or maybe you’re a lion cub and you get your head stuck in the butt of a dead buffalo you are trying to make a meal of. Either way.

The latter is what we have here. Check out the video to see some poor cub with nothing but farts to breath while he has his head stuck up the hind end of his families’ lunch. The best part? The fact that the rest of the pride gives exactly zero shits about the situation and just keeps doing their own thing.

Hit the jump for the video.

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Because This is the Internet: Jurassic Park Theme Performed by Goats

goatGoats are one of those animals that the internet loves. Especially those fainting goats. But not feinting goats, I’ll tell you why. Because goats are already untrustworthy. I mean, how can you trust an animal that has shifty eyes without having to actually shift its eyes. It’s just, uncanny.

Someone with vision and some free time has taken some of that free time and put it to work for your entertainment. The result is the Jurassic Park theme song as performed by goats. There’s a setting your keyboard doesn’t have. Farts and dogs barking can’t cut it in all situations.

Remember when Jurassic Park came out? It was pretty much the most amazing thing you’d ever seen at the time and you could bask in the ignorance of all the problems with the film for years because the Internet was hardly even a thing then for haters to pick apart every little problem with the film like they do now. Just let me enjoy it for a while and then you can have it, please just give me that.

Hit the jump for the video.

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Bunch of Floppers: Soccer Flopping in Real Life

flopWhat if all of humanity was made up of soccer players? We’d have to live in a world that has been completely toddler-proofed so that they don’t hurt themselves with their constant flopping. It really is like temper tantrums mixed with narcolepsy.

World Cup flopping is an art, a tradition and a major frustration for spectators.

The way some players flail and scream at the slightest physical contact on the field, only to be fine moments later, makes you wonder if FIFA is handing out Academy Awards instead of the World Cup trophy at the end of the tournament.

Really if we wanted to watch bad actors falling down while they pretend to be some sort of sports hero I would watch pro wrestling. And that just isn’t going to happen, ever.

Hit the jump for the full humorous video.

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